Staying in an unhappy relationship: Why Do We Do It?

| May 9, 2012

Who can recall that one friend that is always complaining about his/her relationship?  The complaints about what is lacking, things that the significant other no longer maintains and seem to never be able to get anything right.

It becomes obvious that their home is like a prison ward rather than a haven. Then every trick in the book, like working late is used as an excuse to stay away from the nest a little while longer.  If one is so unhappy or displeased in the relationship, then why prolong it?  Isn’t it easier to simply go separate ways and seek happiness that one truly deserves?

One expressed reason for maintaining such a relationship is that it is better to be in a relationship rather than be alone as going back to the dating scene to start all over again is quite an intimidating task. Especially if there is no guarantee that there is a better fish in the sea than the one you just threw back in there. So rather than start all over again, it is best to stick with the known rather than the unknown, working with what you now have.

Children are also a reason why many couples tend to stick it out in an unhappy relationship than leave. It is difficult for children to adjust once parents are separated. The fear of not having a constant stable environment with both parents involved may adversely affect a child who is accustomed to such an environment.

One other reason is simple; it is lust or obsession. You stay in an unhappy relationship as it fulfills your physical desires in every way. The chemistry in the bedroom is great and you have never had it so good. Yet that is all that is the common bond between you both and nothing else. So you stay and enjoy the only aspect and are miserable with all others.

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These are but a few of several excuses used to stay in an unhappy relationship. As long as there is the fear to move on and lingering emotions there will always be an excuse. One excuse may be that it is never the right time to end it. There will always be reasons for and against carrying out a decision to end a relationship.

The best thing is to evaluate what is the most important to you and the possible outcomes of remaining in the relationship and what is required to do so. Is it you are unable to be happy or it simple requires work and certain adjustments to be made by both parties involved.  Whatever decision is made, it should be based on evaluation of the entire situation, the pros and cons and if the issues are irreparable.

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Category: Caribbean and the City, Culture & Society, Sunshine Corner

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