Staff Writer - Katrin Callender
How often do we tiptoe towards someone, heart racing, palms sweaty and hands shaking, because we want to ask for something, but fear their response? Then we hear exactly what we wanted to. So we take a minute to wrap our head around the surprisingly positive outcome of this most terrifying endeavor. When we finally accept out success, perhaps after asking for the individual to repeat their response-just to be sure we heard it correctly- we are elated.
Many of us are afraid to ask for the things we truly want. This is true whether the things we ask are what we want from public figures, from our service providers, from the companies we frequently patronize, or what we want of those more directly connected to our lives, what we want from our loved ones or from ourselves.
What is it that we fear? Do we fear being denied the thing we want? Do we fear being abused because we dared to ask for it? Do we fear getting it and being judged for having it? Do we fear getting it and not making the most of that opportunity? Do we fear finding out we never needed it and that we were holding ourselves back the whole time?
I say we stop focusing on those questions. While asking them will provide us with valuable insight, it may also exacerbate those fears. So even if we will ask them, we must be prepared to act, whatever the answer. In many cases, windows of opportunity stay open for only a short period and trying to get to the root of our concern does not have to cost us the opportunity itself.
We are seldom ruined when we are denied the things we desire. Often, we find other ways of attaining them or else we come to desire other things. Lost opportunities also rarely result in ruination. Yet we agonize over both. But of the two, the lost opportunity may nag at us because we may wonder about the outcome of that path for years. While we may forget or alter our desires or mourn them and move on, we can come to second guess ourselves- to doubt our intuition even- as we lament the loss of an opportunity.
To be refused is always difficult. It can be a violent struggle depending on how badly we desire something or what that thing may mean to our futures. But it is often a struggle we as humans can survive. Being granted the things we desire can be a mixed blessing depending on a plethora of variables. But hearing that ‘yes’ or even better offering it when you know that you can grant someone their deepest desire and being present to see its impact, is well worth daring to ask.
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