| January 31, 2012

The master: Actor Samuel L Jackson

Last week we looked at how Caribbean men in general view the importance of RESPECT in a relationship. Well now we come to a very sticky subject SUBMISSION. I could imagine Caribbean women reading this sitting there with a hot cup of tea legs crossed and their finger on that redial button to call a friend to star cussing…

Well surprise surprise I’m not going to say anything you don’t already know but I suspect some of what I’m going to say you deliberately forgot for all sorts of reasons.

The Bible says; Eph.22-23 Wives, submit to your husband’s as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church,’ Now a lot of us Caribbean men grew up hearing some relative, friend or elder utter these famous words and whether we understood them or not would repeat them as adolescents and adults alike.

At the risk of being argumentative I agree that these biblical words do have relevance today given the fact that women in general expect men to be strong, independent, confident, the bread winner, the defender of the home and so on. When you think about it the man is expected to be quite a ‘hero’, a leader, provider and protector. His role in a relationship is basically to keep it all together, to ensure the security and welfare of the household. For the most part, most Caribbean men are cool with these responsibilities and even step up to defend the mistress when she socks her hair dresser in the mouth for overcharging her; or slaps a 6 foot 300 pound doorman for looking at her too strongly! All part of the job I say!

So given the challenges of being a strong Caribbean man why is so difficult for some Caribbean women to put the attitude, the bravado, the air of authority or the tough exterior aside when at home to allow the man to be just that…The Man in the home? Many blame it on the advent of the Industrial Revolution which caused wives to leave home to find work to help out. So for 200 years women have had lots of practice being out from under the thumb of their husbands and being influenced by women’s rights activists and other anti-family interest groups.

It’s no secret among Caribbean men that the pompous, domineering attitudes of some Caribbean women is serious cause for concern, a concern that continues to cause Caribbean men to look to greener pastures. As many Caribbean men avoid confrontation at all costs, they will never mention this problem to their woman but end up creeping with the next best alternative.

So my advice to Caribbean women who either suspect or know for a fact that you’re a bit intimidating to your partner, thinking it’s a posture that turns him on…think again because it might be just the thing that turns him off. Is I Vibot Seh So! Stay tune for next week’s chat on REASSURANCE.

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Category: Culture & Society

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