Who is penetrating whom in St Lucia?

| September 18, 2014

Dear Sir:

This has been an interesting and educational few days for me and, no, not because of the anonymous “Silencer” published by The Voice. I received a message on my trusty Blackberry from a well connected friend in England, who asked me what was going on in St Lucia to cause so much merriment in London bordering on, as the Germans put it, “Schadenfreude” — pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others.

Putting aside for the moment serious official concern over the sudden mortality rate of British citizens in St Lucia, it seems that there is much speculation in certain clandestine circles that, shall we say, a “penetrative” relationship between a local government director of security and a locally resident former FBI agent who used to work at the US embassy in Bridgetown may be more complex than might be assumed at first sight.

Photo courtesy www.dailymail.co.uk

Photo courtesy www.dailymail.co.uk

Reading between the lines from my friend, there is a belief that the “retired” agent may not be so retired as claimed, and the agency not so politely referred to as the “Funny Boys Incorporated” may have employed, and may still be employing her to penetrate the inner councils of the St Lucia Labour Party government, which the counter-intelligence arm of the “Funny Boys” apparently suspect of being too close to Cuba and Venezuela, perhaps also as proxies for other countries such as Russia and Iran.

However, since certain questions have been aired in Washington as to the alleged joint activities of this penetrative pair that may be inimical to US national security interests, not to mention possibly being illegal, rumour is rife in London that the “Funny Boys” themselves may have been compromised in what could be described as a reverse penetration.

Or perhaps there has been a “double penetration” so to speak, in which case the Cuban and Venezuelan security services may soon be wondering to what extent their not so official activities in and with St Lucia may have been revealed to the “Funny Boys” and the “Funny Boys” may soon be scrambling for cover when the merde makes contact with the ventilation system as to their prior knowledge and complicity in any illegal acts that may have damaged US national security interests rather than protecting them.

The question of who has penetrated whom in this situation reminds me of an old limerick (slightly modified in these politically correct times):

There was a gay lad from Khartoum

Who took a lady up to his room

They spent half the night Discussing who had the right

To do what and with what and to whom

Tori Fatal

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