Let Me Tell You Why It Hurts

| March 14, 2012

Staff Writer - Katrin Callender

It was a greater compliment to me when a disheveled and wrinkled old man stared into my eyes and said that I was beautiful, than when an attractive and well dressed peer stared into my crotch and called me sexy. Shocking though it may seem, I was made ill by the latter.

Although I had no intention of attaching myself to either male, the former had the better chance. And it suddenly makes sense to me why many young women, even younger that I, choose to enter relationships with men who could be their grandfathers. I am by no means promoting it- there are issues which arise within such relationships as a result of the disparity and they no doubt result in heartache. Yet there is something to be said for the man who knows how to address a woman without making her feel naked or dirty.

I appreciate the fact that times are changing, and that the style of speaking is as altered as the methods of communication. But respect for women- for either sex really- means more than merely accepting that we no longer dress, behave, or expect to be treated as we once were.

It is my hope that when I walk down the street or enter a room or engage in any activity, that I will be seen as an entire person- not just as human or as female or as studious and witty- but the sum total of these.

Photo courtesy hercampus.com

The pain of being stripped of my personality and reduced to a piece of meat to be ranked alongside my sisters is acute. It is a degrading experience. I have spent years cultivating the various elements of my personality. And many more years were spent getting to the point where I could share myself with others and still enjoy a sense of confidence, pride and satisfaction. I am certain that there are many women who have undertaken that same difficult journey.

In love and in friendship too, we similarly struggle to find a balance of qualities with those around us. Many of us have a tale of heartache because we befriended someone whose personality just didn’t suit ours.  And even when less emphasis is placed on developing personality, the fact is that our bodies change and that was all that was appreciated, there can be little hope for the relationship.

I have enjoyed the company of women since birth. And although I am not attracted to them, I have found beauty in all of them. The joy of watching them work or play, of seeing their personalities blossom or of enjoying the sense of camaraderie is unparalleled. So I ask every man who has previously looked only at what is skin deep to reconsider. The true beauty and the absolute pleasure of a woman’s company come from within. Do not blind yourself to it. Open your heart and you will see it.

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Category: Culture & Society

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