The Perfect Mate: Good Only On Paper!

| May 16, 2012

I am a firm advocate of single folks trying untraditional routes to meeting people such as dating or social websites. Technology is always improving and providing various ways in which singles can meet and greet.

I always check different sites to view the ways in which people do their profiles.  As I scrolled through various dating and relationship seeking adverts, I noticed a difference between the women and the men’s profile.

The females posted profiles with specified requirements that were basically the same, tall, dark, handsome, career oriented employed professionals. The majority of the men’s requirements were not too detailed on the physical requirements but more focused on their own personality and their likes.  Food for thought: are single women looking for the ideal that exists only on paper?

Yes, we all have our standards that we uphold and require that the man of our dreams must possess all the qualities on our list. However, what if that list is unrealistic or that all the qualities and traits listed to be found in one man is an extremely rare find?

So there is Mr. Tall, dark and handsome with all the physical attributes desirable but he lacks the other desirables such as being sensitive or thoughtful.

He may fully stack with all the physical attributes on the list but has a personality that is just not compatible with yours.  What if it is the reverse where he has all the desirable characteristics but lacks the physical attributes height or being handsome?

Mr Perfect. Photo courtesy

One may say that if you chose to overlook your requirements then you are simply settling rather than aspiring to the goals or standards that you seek in a potential mate.

However, physical traits are known to be fleeting as with time, everything goes and it is the character that should matter most. Also, if love is based mainly on the outside appeal, then it is superficial and based primarily on lust rather than love. Lust is necessary to keep a relationship spicy but it is not the main ingredient that makes a solid foundation in a relationship.

So, if you are on the single scene, recheck your list of requirements that you are seeking in that special someone and evaluate it. There is nothing wrong with setting requirements that you deem necessary qualities that your partner should have but also be realistic in setting those requirements.

Also note that it is unrealistic to seek specific qualities in others that you may not possess. Our expectations of others are always set, yet quite often we fail to set the same expectations for ourselves. What’s your view on this…?

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Category: Caribbean and the City, Culture & Society, Sunshine Corner

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